Unwell
by hangingon08
Summary: A year after Harry's death Hermione receives a letter from the late Dumbledore who wants her to testify on behalf of the man whose father killed her best mate. Her life is in shambles, irreversibly broken. Ron is a shell and she's hopelessly depressed.


Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldn't be writing on here. I'd be rolling around in my millions!!

A/N: So this story is pretty different than anything I've read. There's going to be some pretty serious stuff dealing with abuse and some strong language. The rating M is definitely deserved. This is going to be a very gradual romance between Hermione and Draco.

So here's the first short chapter, let me know what you think. I'm looking for a beta, if anyone is interested let me know! I hope you enjoy.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Hermione,

I'm glad that you have received this letter, though upon receiving this means that Harry has died, and for this I am so terribly sorry. He meant so much to you as I know you did to him. Hermione, I have a a favor to ask of you. I know that Harry told you that Professor Snape killed me, and that you and the other members of the order are likely the only ones who know that. This letter was to be sent to you in the event that I died and Draco was on trial for my death. What I would like for you to do is to testify on Draco's behalf, for I am very certain that no one else will. I know what you think of Draco, but Hermione, you do not fully understand his circumstances. He deserves a second chance at life, a life where Tom Riddle is no longer influencing his family through intimidation and fear. I would like to say thank you in advance, forgive me for assuming that you will testify on his behalf, but I know you very well Hermione.

Yours most sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

_One hour previously_

_Hermione wiped a tear from her cheek as she stared at his tombstone._

Here lies Harry James Potter

Beloved friend and the hope of many

Rest in Piece dear one,

for you are truly missed.

_Ginny fell on her knees and started slamming her fist on his grave. "Why? Why? For heaven's sake, WHY?" _

_Hermione stared at her unable to move. Her mind flashed to the night Harry died. _

_They were on the grounds of Hogwarts, blood and bodies were everywhere Hermione looked, but she was running to the one who had just fallen. The one who had just been hit square in the chest with the killing curse. The blond man standing over Harry had his wand pointed at him, still trying to curse his corpse. She knew he was dead, but if she just got there fast enough, if she just ran a little harder, than she could save him. She knew she could, somehow she'd revive him. He was Harry, he'd just killed Voldemort, he couldn't be dead. _

_She pushed harder, faster, panting for breath. "Harry!" _

_The blond man turned around. _

_Lucius Malfoy._

_She glimpsed Harry on the ground, wide, blank eyes staring up at Lucius's back, his mouth slightly open. _

_She could still save him, he had to live, she just had to get to him! She tripped and fell face first into the mud. Her wand slammed out of her hand and flew several feet away from her. She quickly got on all fours and started crawling towards it. She needed her wand. She needed her wand to bring Harry back. _

"_You're going to die too, mudblood."_

"_He's not dead!" she yelled, slipping in the mud and falling on her face again._

"_Think again you stupid mudblood bitch. You don't think he's dead?" Lucius turned around and stomped, hard, on Harry's stomach. She heard a crack but Harry's face remained the same, expressionless. Hermione stared at him, willing some kind of pain stricken flash of emotion to cross his face, but it didn't. She stared while Lucius stomped again, this time on Harry's chest, again and again and again. She winced as she heard several more bones breaking. _

_She couldn't take it anymore, her wand was two feet away, if she could just get to it than she could mend his bones and he'd be fine. But even in her own mind she sounded less hopeful. _

"_Crucio," Lucius spat._

_Her body convulsed with pain. Pain beyond anything she had ever felt. It was like someone had lit a fire over her entire body. Lucius's eyes were boring into hers, pure hatred in those two small gray eyes. She clenched her jaw to stifle a scream. Her body started convulsing and another wave of excruciating pain came over her. He broke the connection and took a step forward. She turned over and stared at her wand. _

"_CRUCIO!" _

_Stars exploded behind her eyes. She couldn't remember a time when she had hurt this badly. Her arms felt like they were breaking, piece by piece. She was rigid, face down in the mud. He broke the connection again._

_She grabbed at the mud trying to pull herself closer to her wand, but it just slipped through her fingers. She couldn't move. Moody's voice floated into her mind, "Perseverance." _

"_Stupid, ugly, filthy, mudblood, bitch!" He roared and brought his foot slamming down onto her back. She felt the breath knock out of her. He stomped again, and again, and again. She turned her head to the side and saw Harry's face once more. He looked so peaceful, so serene, she wondered if maybe she should just die too, if maybe it wasn't so bad. She would never see the light in those amazing green eyes ever again. He would never smile at her, he would never laugh ever again. _

_She felt the burn of another crucio. But here her memory gets vague. When she remembers this it's as if she's watching it from somewhere up above, away from the pain and the misery. She got to her wand and killed Lucius. Then she crawled to Harry and from there she can't remember. _

"_You son of a bitch, why did you take Harry? Why did you take MY Harry from me?" Hermione bent down and grabbed Ginny under her arms and tried to lift her up. "No! No!" She yelled twisting and trying to get away with all her might. She grabbed tighter, ignoring the jabbing pain of an elbow hitting her in the ribs. "Let go of me!" _

"_No." Ginny collapsed bringing Hermione down on top of her. _

"_Please, Hermione," Ginny pleaded, "Bring him back. Make him come home."_

"_I can't, Gin," Hermione croaked. That is what pained her the most, she knew that no matter what she did, she could never bring Harry back to them. He would never come back. Despite everything that she had read, her books had ultimately failed her. She could not do a damn thing. "I wish upon everything that I have left that I could Gin, but I can't. I just can't."_

_Ginny started another round of tears. Her whole body shaking against Hermione's and she just held her, crying into Ginny's hair. _

_It had been a year since Harry's death. A year since Hermione had killed Lucius Malfoy and been pardoned for it. A year since the trio had become a duo and things had never been the same. Ron had retreated into himself, being closest to Harry he had suffered the most. His brother was dead and so was his best mate. Ron didn't laugh, he didn't smile, he didn't joke, and he barely ate. Hermione had tried her best to be strong for Ron but she couldn't. The weight of her own depression had settled over her like a thick fog and it wouldn't lift. _

_Not only had Hermione lost Harry, but ultimately she had lost Ron, the love of her life. She missed him and the way things used to be. She missed Harry, she would never see him alive again and the weight suddenly crushed her, like it did every time Hermione visited his grave. _

_She felt her chest tighten and she tried to breath but she couldn't. Air wouldn't come into her lungs. She pushed Ginny away and curled into her own ball. Sobbing uncontrollably. _

_She awoke to the feeling of rain pouring over her. Hermione opened her eyes and saw bright red hair soaked and muddy in front of her. The breath she took rattled in her chest and her eyes itched from falling asleep crying. Ginny was shivering in front of her but Hermione didn't feel cold. She was numb. Numb from feelings, numb from the rain, and numb from the world. _

_When they disapparted to her flat from Godrick's Hollow a few minutes later she had laid Ginny down in front of the fire on a rug and slowly walked into her room. The first thing she saw was her reflection in the mirror. She was thin and dirty. Her clothes were drenched and clinging to her bones. Her hair was wild and muddy. She just stared at herself. A year ago she looked a little healthier, though not quite as healthy as her first couple of years at Hogwarts. The stress had gotten to her and she began eating less and less as the years went on. She was disgusted with her state but couldn't do anything about her weight. She simply couldn't eat. _

_Hermione stepped into her bathroom and turned on her shower then stepped inside fully clothed. The water burned but she didn't care, she just laid down and closed her eyes, willing the pain in her mind to subside. _

_She stared at the white bathtub and saw Harry's green eyes staring blankly back. 'I wish you were here,' she thought and then punched the bath tub wall. She wanted those eyes to go away, she wanted the pain to go away, she wanted it all gone. She opened her hand and watched a small drop of blood trickle from her hand and fall to mix with the dirt doing down the drain. It was ironic because that's where her life had gone. She was numb, lost, and alone. _

_She stepped out of the shower and dried herself off, wrapping a towel around her hair and walking back into her room. On her bed was a red envelope addressed to her. _

_---_

Hermione walked back into the living room to find Ginny already gone. She looked at the note clutched in her fist. When she thought of Malfoy she immediately saw Lucius Malfoy's face. The two looked so much alike. Dumbledore wanted her to testify on behalf of Malfoy? How could she, how could she do it when bile rose in her throat at the very thought of him. A Malfoy had taken her life away from her and as far as she was concerned Malfoy was just as despicable as his father.

It was one of Dumbledore's wishes though, and whether she liked Malfoy or not didn't matter. Her respect for Dumbledore was so much greater than her hatred for Malfoy. She would do anything for Dumbledore. "Forgive me for assuming that you will testify on his behalf, but I know you very well Hermione." If she could still smile she would. She felt a little flutter in her stomach and sighed.

She knew her body needed food but she just wasn't hungry. The thought of food made her want to vomit. A picture on her mantle caught her eye. In the photo Hermione was standing in between Harry and Ron in front of the Burrow. She was smiling while Ron was kissing her cheek and Harry had his arm around her. She walked over to the picture and ran her finger over Harry's face. "I miss you so much," she whispered. He just smiled back up at her as picture Harry ran his hand through his hair.

"I miss you too," she said as she kissed picture Ron.


End file.
